last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
