I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
