Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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