I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize