grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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