Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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