Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
