I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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