It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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