Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
My cat gives me a boner
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
