We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
