Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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