Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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