Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
