She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
