His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
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