an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
