That's when you crack a 10am beer
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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