Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
babies were throwing up all over the place
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
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