It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
