i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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