I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize