My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
