Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
