I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize