He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
