i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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