If i come over, it means nothing
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
