Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
