I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Randomize
