Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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