the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
should my penis look like a turkey
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
