you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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