Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
