I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i would one night stand the shit outta him
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Randomize
