Can i not drive my cunt home
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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