So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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