You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize