we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
