Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
