just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
