there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
