he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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