Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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