when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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