i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
