I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
