my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
