Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
