i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
