Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
