i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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