wake up i wanna do it froggy style
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
