.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
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