ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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