Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
