Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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