just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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