yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
